Embracing Freedom
Embracing Freedom. Grace is my story. Hope is my anchor. Joy is my strength. Laughter is my song.
Monday, 27 August 2012
Routine, Routine, Routine
One of the most helpful things we have found in our parenting is Routine! From about 6 weeks old we started to establish a routine for Zac, and it made life so much easier! (I think the first 6 weeks with child number one is just hard anyway, regardless of parenting style, lack of sleep, the unknown, getting to know each other... it's a time of discovery) Anyway, we started establishing Zac in routine when he was 6 weeks old (once i felt like i had Breast feeding well established) the day started at 7am (or there abouts, no earlier) and he'd be fed 3 hourly which became 4 hourly when he was a bit bigger.
If he woke for a feed before 7, that would be fine, but it would be the night-time routine which was simply "Up, feed, change, feed - back to bed (we wouldn't make eye contact, talk or turn on the lights, i would simply hold and nurse him).
His day time up time routine was simple too, feed, play, and sleep again. Those first few days of establishing him in his routine were quite difficult and we spent a lot of time watching the clock and letting him cry ... but it only took 3 days and he'd adjusted to the routine we'd set, and seemed happier and settled for it.
Because I was studying at college and Brenton was working full time, Zacs routine was essential to my survival. I worked Zacs sleeps and feeds around my class schedule and he was able to come to class with me from 8 weeks old until i finished when he was 7 months. He would sleep in class most of the time when i wanted him too ... and it all just worked really well! It bacame the norm, he knew what to expect but we weren't so rigid that we didn't allow flexibility and he just became a really adaptable, easy going child. Even now when he is 3 he has a routine and he knows it!
7amish - up, breaky and play time (Educare on mondays and tues and thurs mornings)
12ish lunch
1ish - sleep
3-3.30ish up to play
5ish- bath
5.30ish tea
6.30ish when Evys in bed we play board games or read stories
7pmish - bed for the night.
I can count the number of times he has resisted his afternoon sleep on one hand, and again he's a flexible, easygoing, fun loving kid!
When Evy joined our family permanently on the 9th of May 2012 we continued to establish her in the routine we had instigated while she was in a temporary situation. It looked something like this:
7ish - up, breakfast, bottle, playtime
9.30 - sleep
11ish -up, play, lunch, play
1sh- sleep
2.30ish - up to play :)
5ish- bath
5.30ish tea
6ish bottle
6.30ish bed
(I say 1ish because usually it's within 15 mins of either side of the time.)
We've just in the last couple of weeks dropped Evys morning sleep and brought her afternoon one earlier, so she's down to 1 sleep a day and adjusting really well... we had a few pretty unsettled days, but she's come right now.
Initially she struggled to sleep through the night ... understandable given all the change she had been through ... but it wasn't long and she was sleeping through, and instead of waking at 5am ... we persevered with the 'no one gets up before 7' rule and she now sleeps through till 7. When she's teething or unwell we have days where the routine goes totally out the window, and sleeping through the night is impossible but that's ok, that's just part and parcel with it and it's something I've come to expect ... some days we just have off days (and nights).
Brenton and I got back yesterday from 3 days away by ourselves ... we were able to write out the kids routines and the kids were as good as gold for the baby sitter. Even though we weren't there, the routine was the same and the babysitter had no problems whats-so-ever (other than having to put Zac in time out twice for pinching and pushing his sister). In fact i was a bit nervous they may play up for her and that Evy might not be so settled in the night ... but each morning they woke up at about 6.55am and her comment to me was "You've trained them well!"
I believe children thrive in routine (just from observation and what i have experienced work with our kids). One new mum recently told me that she didn't even try to put her daughter in a routine, but her baby naturally did it herself ... I think within 6 weeks and soon enough bubs was sleeping 8 hours in the night ... amazing, it's like it's a part of our inbuilt nature.
So anyway, those are some itsy bitsy thoughts on parenting.
P.S: I am not saying this is the one and only way to parent, this is what we've found helpful in our parenting journey so far ... just say'n!
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Hehehe oh my gosh Sammy! We could not be more different! I find the emphasis on routine such a tyranical thing and since abandoning it have felt a new, wild and wonderful sense of unfettered parenting, and mine and Ramona's connection has increased massively.
ReplyDeleteWe are so different in many ways , you and I. I remember how organised you used to be with your studies when you used to come and stay. It is so funny how often parenting is just an outworking of our brilliant unique personalities! x x
So true Lucy!!! I really think how we parent is an outworking of our personalities, personal circumstance, culture, our children and their own personalities ... a whole range of things really. This is why I would never try to force my way of parenting on anyone else ... what works for one may or may not work for another, I can't believe how many people think their way is the only way, and it can make other parents feel so belittled and like failures. I think this whole parenting thing is a lifetime learning journey so I'm always willing to take on and try new things. I absoloutely love reading your blogs, and after reading your blog about babywearing, brought a wrap and starting wearing Evy :) The benefits have been AMAZING! Love you my friend. xoxo
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