Stalked by fear ... liberated by Love

Last night I woke to the sound of my four year old son screaming a blood curdling scream. I bolted out of bed to go to him, only to meet him in the hallway as he ran and leaped into my arms. I don't think I remember him ever holding me as tight as he did last night. He was holding on for dear life, crying and so I held him, tight. I took him into our bed and he settled in my arms, between Brenton and I. He told us that Monsters had been chasing him.So he'd ran, right into the arms of safety. We talked about it with him, talked about how there are no such thing as monsters and he calmed right down. After a visit to the toilet, he hopped back into his bed and went back to sleep. All I wanted to do was comfort him and allay his fears. I hated seeing him afraid and fearful.  

When I was 14 years old, my mum had taken a protection order out against her ex-partner. The living situation had been less than ideal for a long time, and she had built the courage to do what she needed to, to protect us. Unfortunately the protection order wasn't enough to deter him from 'harassing' us and the mental, emotional abuse and intimidation continued. He would sit down the road from our house and watch us, when we went out he followed, when we were visiting at a friends he would drive around and around the block. At one point he rented the house next door, I discovered it after finding holes in the fence, climbing a tree and seeing his car parked in the shed .

Fear marked my life. It was a continual state of being. One evening after arguing with Mum about something I left the house and started walking to a school event in the dark. As I walked he pulled up and drove his car alongside me. He drove off, and lapped the block I was walking. Terror took over. I have never been so petrified in all my life. I pulled out my cellphone and called mum (should have called the police, but fear clouded clarity and sense). She, in a panic and fluster, couldn't find her keys but contacted a friend to come and get me. By this stage he'd settled himself in a car park at a supermarket, watching as I walked.

Twice, a protection order breach was thrown out of court because of technicalities. The so called protection of the state really was no protection at all. For years after this event I was afraid of the dark. Right into my adult years. I struggled to walk outside by myself in the dark, I was hyper-vigilant of every noise and movement and avoided it as much as possible. Fear holds us captive. It stops us from living a full life. It has a way of chasing us down and cornering us, like a crazy stalking his prey. It wasn't until working through the 12 steps programme (highly recommend it!) during my training at Booth College of Mission that I found freedom from this fear. I remember the first time, walking from the main building to our little on campus unit, by myself, without fear. It was a celebratory moment. 

At the time of the incident I struggled to see Gods protection in the situation,  yet I look back now and I see it clearly. Recently during a time in prayer my thoughts took me back to that fear-filled night, and I had a picture of Jesus, standing between me and the car. A fierce look on his face, like only over his dead body would he let anyone get to me. Absolute determination, absolute protection, absolute security. 

Psalm 139 is one of my favourite psalms. Verse 10 says "your right hand will hold me fast." 

This speaks to me of ultimate security and protection. When I get in a car and fasten my seat-belt  I do it as a means of protection. If I have to stop suddenly, or find myself in a dangerous situation the seat-belt is there, fastened, to hold me in place, to protect me, and prevent harm.

Psalm 139:10 is a promise. In the right hand of God, we are held tight, we are secure, we are protected. Just as my son finds security, comfort and freedom from fear in my arms, we can find security, comfort and freedom from fear in Gods.

When we fail to trust Jesus, and choose to rely on other things like finances, relationships, status, others approval and affirmation we take a step out of His hand - we fail to rely on HIM to secure us. Trust and total dependence on him places us in the centre of His hand and assures us of His security and protection. 

"There is no room in love for fear." 1 John 4:18. God is love, it's his very nature. When we rest in God, abide in him, trust him and depend on him, fear dissipates and freedom reigns. Hallelujah!

Questions to consider:
Is there something I am fearful of?
In what or who do I depend on for ultimate security?
Am I embracing and living in the truth of the Word of God which says "Your right hand will hold me fast"?


Prayer: "Lord, thank you for the security, protection, comfort and freedom we have in you. Hold me fast in your right hand! In Jesus name, Amen." 

Kids, time and Jesus

What could be better? Seriously! There really is nothing like being in Christs presence!

So, why is it so hard to find time to get there? I don't know about you, but I find as a mum of two young children (3 & 1), spending dedicated time in Gods presence, in His word and seeking Him in prayer can be challenging to say the least.  In fact, it's been a daily struggle since having Zachy 3 1/2 years ago. It can be easy to find time to find time for facebook, or a fab TV show, yet I can struggle to make time to spend with God.

The constant "Muuuuum"s, requests, toys, books, messy lounge and squabbles easily fill my day (I wouldn't change it, I adore my kids). When Zachy was little I would sometimes find I could go a whole day without even saying hello to Jesus. Often those were the hardest, most tiring days. Yet in His Presence we find rest and strength. What I've come to realise is that a day without Jesus is like living in survival mode, we just get by. Days with Jesus, in the presence of His Spirit are full of life, joy, peace, power, grace and mercy.

I used to wipe off dedicated time with Jesus with "He's with me all day, I can pray to him anytime for anything", "I'm not a morning person" (understatement of the century!!!), "I can find Jesus in my everyday"  which is true, but they became excuses for not setting time aside to just be with Him , to just simply hang out, seek him, listen for him.  You know what? My time set aside with Jesus, in prayer and in His Word goes beyond my expectations every time! He never fails me, He always speaks when I'm listening, and I fall more in love with Him each time. (Like that's not enough reason to make time with Him a priority!)

I don't have all the answers, time with Jesus continues to be a struggle with two wee ones, but it's definitely a battle worth fighting. I don't want to survive each day, I want to live each day to its fullest.
This is an ongoing journey, it will continue to be. At the moment, some days I start the day with Jesus first thing, other days it's when my kids go down for their nap, others it's in the evening before bed, but I'm endeavouring to make it a daily thing because In Gods presence:

• we find rest (Exodus 22:14)
• there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11)
• we experience His goodness (Psalms 31:19-20)
• we are strengthened (Psalms 46:1)
• we are cleansed (Psalms 51:10-11)
• we discover our true identity (Psalms 100:2-5)
• we are redeemed (Isaiah 63:8-9)
• we are refreshed (Acts 3:19-21)
• we find hope (Romans 5:5)
• we are given life (John 6:63)
• we are set free (2 Corinthians 3:17)
• we experience his love (Romans 5:5)
• we are transformed (2 Corinthians 3:18)

Amazing huh? SO SIMPLE TOO!

What things have you put in place to make spending time in Gods presence a priority?
For you parents out there, any tips for other young mums when it comes to hanging out with Jesus?

Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the LORD is the great God, And the great King above all gods. Psalms 95:2-3

Much Aroha,
SamMe!

Being Church Messy Styles - The GodFather

Brenton and I are privileged to be Salvation Army Officers. Basically this means we are ministers/pastors/leaders of the Upper Hutt Salvation Army and we oversight the Salvation Army community ministries (a branch of the army's social services) in Upper Hutt. There's never a dull moment! In March this year our Churches building caught fire due to an electrical fault in an extractor fan in our food bank. We received a call at 11.30pm alerting us, and by the time we got there, there were 7 appliances at the scene, and a butt load of smoke!

Needless to say, church on Sunday wouldn't be happening in that building. Thankfully, we are just around the corner from The Salvation Army's Booth College of Mission (where people train to become Salvation Army officers), and they very kindly let their home become ours for a good 6 months! LEGENDS!

Because we've been without a permanent 'home' since the fire, we've had the opportunity to experiment a little bit with church (So exciting, I can't resist letting out a little squeal of delight!) On the first Sunday of each month we've held church at a community centre in Timberlea. Church has looked different at Timberlea, and takes a 'Messy Church' approach. The first Sunday we did this we had REAL - LIVE - DONKEYS (poohs, eey oores and all!) , it was Palm Sunday and helped to give us a picture of what it would have been like for Jesus riding into Jerusalem that day.

Zachy feeds a donkey at Messy Church on Palm Sunday

Generally Messy church goes like this:
   The morning starts with family friendly activities (by family I mean from the youngest person you can think of, through to the oldest) for about 30 minutes (the activities introduce the theme for the day and are connected to the sermon).
   We then come together and sing some songs to Praise God, and then have a short teach time (we aim for a message no longer than 7 minutes, we like to share the word in bite size chunks to make it easy for people to chew on and digest)
   We eat together (actual physical food as opposed to Gods Word ... Word yo!) - we usually have a sausage sizzle.

My favourite Messy Church so far, has to have been Fathers Day. We decided to celebrate men and their masculinity. We started with some stereotypical manly activities ... arm wrestles, tug-o-war, shooting targets (with nerf guns ... safety first). We had the opportunity to make moustaches, we practised shaving ... by shaving shaving cream off balloons, and for the crafty ... we could make Father Day Cards.

The real crowd pleaser though ... was the Harley Davidson Rides. I'd approached the Wellington Hog Club and asked if maybe 4 or 5 people could bring their Harleys down to give people rides. Well, they arrived in full force with about 12 bikes! The noise alone attracted a number of people from the community. People faces were ecstatic on return from a ride around the block, adrenaline was pumping and the buzz was beyond words! Some of the kids had 4 or 5 rides on different bikes and it was an experience they won't forget anytime soon!

After about 40 minutes we packed up the activity stations and set up for the teach time.  We always start with a celebration time where people can come and share whats happened for them in the last month. A definite highlight was one woman from the community coming up and celebrating her children, just because she could! She later said to me she'd like us to dedicate her children. We sung some songs and then had the message. We heard about the love of our Father God, his strength, dedication and commitment to us, which is always good to hear when so many people grow up without Fathers around these days.

After the teach time we headed outside for BBQ bacon, hash browns and sausages (Nom, Nom, Nom). This is always a key part of the morning because it's where we connect with people, develop relationships and where we have the chance to really do life together.

Some of the main things we've learnt about Messy church are:

• Have an outside activity - It draws people down
• Be committed to the community - We've been in Timberlea for 3 years now (it started with weekend events once a year, then became free monthly Sausage Sizzles and is now monthly Messy Church.)
• Keep the teach times short - Many of the people we have come just need small amounts of teaching to chew on, much of it is new to them
• Be intentional about connecting with people - we are still working on this one
• Saturate the whole thing in prayer - without the Holy Spirit moving it's just an event.

In October we are hoping to do something a little different again ... thinking outside the box ... we don't want to be restricted by falling into a routine ... same old, same old ... YAWN! God doesn't fit in a box, I don't think His Church should either. We want to be innovative and creative when it comes to fulfilling Christ commission to "make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:19) . After all, He is The Master when is comes to Creating! Anyway, I could go on but I wont. I'll let you know how it goes some other time.

Itsy Bitsy SamMe