I wrote a book this week ...

Well, I can tick "Write a book" off my bucket list. Haha, not really! 

One of the things that was really emphasised when Brenton and I did training through Child, Youth and Family while preparing to adopt Evy was the importance of creating a life book.

A life book is a book written for an adopted child with the intention of sharing the child's story with them. It is a honest look at their life from the beginning. Generally it starts with their birth, talks about their birth parents, tells them they are adopted and how that came about. I've read that adopted children can imagine all sorts of ideas about their birth parents from a young age, (for example; their parents died in a car accident, their real mum is a princess in a far away kingdom, their real Dad is coming back one day to look after them) so keeping it open, honest and real with a life book helps the child to understand the reality of their situation.

Because Evy's is an open adoption, she will grow up knowing that she is adopted and she will know and be involved with her birth family. To help her understand her story we wrote a life book for her. We didn't call it a life book as such, instead we've simply said "This is a story all about Evy."



It just arrived a couple of days ago and we plan on giving it to her for her second birthday present. We didn't start with Evy's birth like is often suggested but wanted to start with who she is and what she likes. We move into the deeper stuff a little bit more into the book. It's not too deep but will definately get some conversations happening when she's a bit older.

The biggest thing that we want Evy to know is that she is planned, loved and wanted. We don't ever want her believing she was a mistake, unwanted, abondoned or rejected because nothing could be further from the truth. This is a major emphasis in her story. She was planned by God, to be a part of our family. She is loved by us, and she is loved by her 'tummy mummy'.

I can't wait to read it to her for the first time. I'm sure it will be one of those books we read time and time again, and something that she will treasure for life.

Writing the life book was also a really therapeutic exercise for me. As I wrote her story and thought about how we'd tell her about her adoption, I battled with thoughts reminding me she's not biologically mine. What I came to realise through the book is that she is my daughter in every other way now, and that's what really counts. The process was challenging, satisfying, time consuming but so far really rewarding.

Just some more itsy bitsy thoughts from SamMe :)